


Crossed Wires

by MadameMiz



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-04
Updated: 2015-03-04
Packaged: 2018-03-16 07:21:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3479360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadameMiz/pseuds/MadameMiz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Setting off the fire alarm isn't exactly an ideal way to end the night, but Heinz supposes he can't complain about the outcome. College au.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crossed Wires

**Author's Note:**

> based on the prompt "Someone needs to write a ‘the fire alarm went off at 3 am and now the cute guy from the flat next door is standing next to me in his underwear’ AU" at the suggestion of definitelynotalizard. human!perry. mentions of prior amputation.

The shrill ring of the dormitory fire alarm could be described as a cacophony more accurately than anything else.

Honestly, it would even be so bad if it wasn’t compounded with the blare of wailing fire trucks and ambulances outside. Even on the fourth floor of the building the sound is a bit disorienting; more so than usual in the quiet of this unholy hour of the morning.

It’s a bit much for a simple electrical fire that is definitely not his fault, Heinz thinks, as he stands in the hall along with a handful of other students. He pretends not to notice the bleary, half-asleep glares they cast at him. A few of his sleepier peers ask their suite mates what’s happening and why they’re all standing .

“Eh, it’s just the weird German kid again,” comes the reply, as Heinz has come to expect by this point.

“Druselsteinian!” he retorts automatically, running exasperated hands through his slightly wavy hair.

He receives more glares and a few rude hand gestures for his trouble.

So, baulking a bit, he leans against the wall and waits for the fire fighters to do their standard checks. He hopes they don’t mess with his project, the one that certainly was not behind the small fire in the first place.

Slowly, most of the students lose interest and file back into their rooms once it becomes apparent that, no, they will not be roasted alive tonight. The alarm is silenced as well, and within a few moments he’s left alone to stand on the cold concrete floor with his bare feet.

Well, almost alone.

Heinz yelps when an unexpected warmth touches his arm. He whirls around, startled, and meets the surprised stare of the guy from the room next door to his, thick arm paused mid-air.

“Wha—have you been out here the whole time?” Heinz asks. He hadn’t heard a sound! This guy is always so sneaky. What’s his deal? Heinz has barely caught a glimpse of his teal and orange hair the whole time they’ve been roomed next door to each other.

After a moment the hand drops, brown fingers curled loosely, to the guy’s admittedly short side, and Heinz tries his best not to follow the movement down. Really, he could have at least had the decency to throw on some pants. Or at least something other than boxers and a robe. Not that anyone else had been wearing anything better, but—

He clears his throat. Rambling, right. Not good, even internally.

A teal eyebrow is cocked in his direction along with a slow nod. A tall woman in uniform, blonde hair pulled out of her heavily freckled face into a tightly coiled bun, passes them on her way into Heinz’s room and he watches as his quiet neighbor shifts a questioning glance between him and the whispy smoke billowing sadly out of his door.

“Oh. It’s nothing serious… um, Perry, right?”

Perry gives him a confused, wary look, but nods anyway. It takes Heinz a moment to realize that knowing the name of someone who never properly introduced themselves is kind of strange.

“I saw you at the orientation!” he flounders, and curses his own awkwardness. “You know, the first day, when we all had to wear those silly name tags. With the hair and all, you’re kind of hard to forget.”

When no reply comes, Heinz begins shuffling his cold feet and tries to find something else to look at aside from his barely dressed acquaintance.

“It was silly, really. A crossed wire, made the outlet short-circuit. I was, ah, working on a better relay method between the nerves and circuits for a prosthetic arm model I was working on and, well, I thought maybe if I had a bit more power, I could make the rig I’ve got set up work but, well,” he gestures toward his room, “it didn’t work out so well.” He elects to leave out that the prosthetic model was for his own needs and not just a class project.

Perry gives a nod of vague not-quite-understanding. Heinz can see questions in his brown eyes, but he doesn’t voice any of them. Heinz is only slightly disappointed.

“Sooo,” Heinz says once the silence stretches on a bit too long, “is teal or orange your natural hair color? Or neither?”

Perry offers an indulgent smirk and Heinz is surprised to see him actually open his mouth to reply when the firefighters finally emerge from his dorm. The woman from before turns to Heinz and Perry and zeroes in on the taller of the two.

“Heinz… Doofenshmirtz?” she asks him, and the the glee he feels at hearing his name pronounced correctly nearly outweighs his irritation at Perry’s answer being cut off.

“That’s me,” he says., and then more sheepishly asks, “what’s the damage?”

“Well, it’s nothing serious, and none of your belongings were destroyed. There’s only minor burns to the wall and carpet”

“And my, um, project?”

She gives him an admonishing frown. “If you mean the mess of wires and metal, it’s fine. Look, I know you engineering students have crazy deadlines and I’m sure the work is hard, but don’t try to cut corners with power sources. You could have easily burned down the building.”

Heinz can’t really argue with that, so he simply nods. Behind him, he practically feel Perry’s smirk.

Instead of acknowledging it at all, he focuses on the woman again and asks, “What should I do now?”

“Well,” she says hesitantly, “I wouldn’t suggest staying in your room tonight. We opened the windows, but it’s still too smokey. If you stay you could damage your lungs. You can grab whatever you need to stay over at a friend’s house or something.”

Discomfort instantly wells up in Heinz. “But I don’t really… All my friends live too far away.”

It’s an obvious lie and he knows it, but admitting the truth would be worse now, he thinks. He’s had quite enough embarrassment for one night.

He firefighter’s face turns a bit more sympathetic. “Family?” she asks.

“In another country.” At least that one’s true.

“Sorry kid. Just try to figure out something. I saw a couch in the lobby on the way up here, if nothing else.”

“Okay,” he says with a defeated sigh. Not ideal, but he’s slept in much worse places.

“Good. I need to go check in with your RA and the supervisor for the building. They may have a word with you tomorrow. Just a heads up.” She gives him a nod and gives his boney shoulder a light squeeze before bidding him goodbye.

And just like that, she’s gone. It’s almost too quiet now after all the excitement of the last hour.

Perry, whom Heinz had nearly forgotten about again, clears his throat. Well, it comes out as more of a harsh breath, but Heinz understands the intent anyway.

“Well, I guess I’m camping on the couch tonight,” he says with put-upon cheeriness. A shiver runs through him—he’d forgotten how cold it is.

“Better grab some blankets,” he mutters before turning back to his room.

Heinz doesn’t even make it a whole step before be feels a warm, surprisingly small hand grab his real flesh and blood arm. Surprised, he turns back to see Perry giving him a measuring look. He seems to debate for a moment before releasing Heinz with a sigh. He gestures through his door toward the small couch opposite his bed, the invitation obvious in his eyes.

“R—really? Are you sure? You don’t even know me,” Heinz points out, eyes still slightly wide with disbelief.

Perry shrugs and pushes his door open wider.

Heinz spends the next few minutes offering his thanks, generally babbling, and gathering a few necessities before he rushes happily into Perry’s dorm.

Perry, who begins to curse his own politeness, follows his new guest inside, hand paused on the doorknob. He can survive one night of his talkative new acquaintance, he supposes. Just one.

There’s only the slightest sense of trepidation at how at home Heinz looks on his couch.

With a tug, the door clicks shut softly.


End file.
